Dylan O'Brien

Hellooo the world, I have been obsessed with the show on MTV called Teen Wolf lately. There is a particular character that I've been obsessing on which is Stiles Stilinski played by Dylan O'brien. Look ho cute he is… In the show his character were outspoken, loving, loyal and a little nerdy kind of guy. He is not the popular ones but the nice guy (oh how i wish nice guys are as cute as he is). Although as we knew, nice guy finish last but this particular nice guy has caught a lot of attention to the fans and becoming one of the most loved character in the show. When it comes to fans, sometimes the line between loving and obsessing over something become blurry. it was so blur that it blinds our mind. The crazy thing about being fans is actually the thing we that we love and obsess about is the character they played which sometimes is non existence in the real life. A girl being a girl, they still love them anyway. Sometimes, it makes me realize how crazy i am to be obsessed with something that actually does not exist. From there i usually started to get curious about the real person inside those role. the real personality of the actors. i guess from then on people started to get pretty harsh on chasing and interfere those public figure's personal life. They stalk them, looking for gossip and news about the actor/actress they like or maybe love or even obsessed. It were sort of a way to looking for a connection with them. To know them in person. So, as a fan girl i do really know how it feels to be someone's fans. I don't know if the face they put in public is just a facade or who they really are. The curiosity that we have, the hysteria and silly things that we do are the act of our love to you. Anyway, Dylan O'Brien if one day you stumble upon this post that came out of nowhere. If you read this you are awesome, I do really appreciate your work. I still wish to know you in person. There is a very big chance that i would never meet you. Just know this, like a youtuber Josh Sundquist always say, We should hang out sometimes! and here is more of Dylan's cute pics!

I've been a way

Hey there! long time no see. Its been… ummm well i even forget when was the last time i wrote in this blog. andy why do i write again? to be honest i really missed writing again. it helps me organize my thoughts. So, what was happening in my life since …. 1 or 2 years ago?? First news I have graduated from my diploma in 3d design majoring in Furniture Design(yayyyyyyy!!!!!!). And no, it does not make me a designer yet. it took a long journey to actually be THE DESIGNER.

Currently I am working as an Interior Designer in a construction firm(hence the fancy title, what i do mostly are drafting really). I am start to enter another phase of life. I would like to call this phase "off the grid". Why do i called it that way? it is mostly because of the lack of pattern that can be seen in this phase. It wasn't like school years when you know for certain that after middle school you will go to high school and after that college. this phase is like an invisible maze that you can't see what awaits you at the other end of the maze when you finish it. it is so unpredictable that your every move matter to your end result that yet you uncertain of. Some people likes this phase more than the grid. It is thrilling and it does not have rules. for those rule benders or maybe breakers they will definitely thrive in this "Off the grid" phase. Still, what you do matters. it terrifies me when i come face to face with this phase. it happened just right at my convocation day.

By the way, that was me and my parents. (hi mom, hi dad!) the enlightenment strikes me and gave me a big question to ask, what do i do next? Of course me being a coward try to escape from it. trying to look for excuses extending my life in the grid. I tried to apply for courses when i don't know what i want to do in my life. I tried to look for jobs but did not focus on it. If was a bad 4 months of my life. it feels like hope is gone. i see myself in a very bad image. i just realize that i could be the loser of this community. those jobless people that could not survive. i know i am not that, i just couldn't help it to think that way. being 22 yeas old and does not know what to do it is quiet bad. it makes me feel like i am running out of time. It is not like when i was 16 and every fantasy of your life could be possible. When you start to enter 21, things are getting serious. It just like being chase by a beast called time. now things are getting better. well at least a little. i got a job which is good (i can support myself now). in this job, i got to do some things that i did not likes to do. Yet it gives me clarity in my mind. I just realize that being an interior designer is not what i want to do for the rest of my life. although i haven't find what i want to do in life at least i have an idea on what i don't want to do which is a good thing right? Sometimes i wonder if i was teenage again what would i do? please tell me what would you do. if you read this or not. now looking forward i am still in the adventure of of the invisible maze to find myself and the ultimate prize that i have to chase. Lastly, i want to close this post with a quote from someone that i know, "the greatest failure in life is not participating"- Earnest Wong. God Bless us all.

the real adventure had begun

Helooo Everyone. its been a looooong time since i wrote to you. i will graduate college soon!!! (Sound effect:yaayyyyy!!!) its been a great 3 years of experience, friendship, survival, anti socialism, relationship and etc... this got me thinking and reflect back on what I've been doing this whole time. a few things that i learn: 1. You have to open your self so that people could open up to you. 2. if you love someone you have to make sacrifices cos love is about giving. 3. be tolerant to people. 4. focus. Well these lesson i learned in lots of ways. some more harsher than other. the fact that it were there laid out in my life must have a purpose. to experience and become a better person. well actually i was not al of those above. i work my way through it all. anyway another phase of life has passed and yet a new one is about to come. a phase full of uncertainty where you are on your own. no pattern to follow. its really on how you will do in this world. at the end of the day we all will call to account our part in this world to God. on how we live, were we good or bad. i must admit that i am afraid of what comes next. what will i experience in the work field but that is the adventure of life and it just has begun. it will be hotter and get exciting. the ratio of excitement and the risk that we took actually directly proportional. unfortunately we still has the x factor that we could not control. in the end, God is the only one that we could count on and hang on to. Have a blessed one!

Never Give up

Today I am suppose to work on my Final year project since it is my final year and im kinda stuck. my lecturers has warn me to move fast and direct me to certain ways. it is just seems like their ways is not what i feels about this project. but what actually i want to achieve from this project? it will be just easy to give up. earlier today, i was in the Event of IFFS, just stand there on my school's booth. then there is one guy from UK Magazine if im not wrong said to me. Dont give up in this business. never give up and i wish you the best luck. i think this little encouragement means a lot to me especially right now when im down and doesnt know my way. well i think for today is never give up and i wish you the best luck.! hahahaha Thank you God. XOXO

21

today is 9th of January 2013 and ive been 2 days being 21 years old. well its okay to be twenty one. i hvnt feel any different to be twenty one. well being 21 is actually a huge step of my life. it is the age that we are considered as a legal adult. we could do anything we wanted when we turn 21 years old and of course with the responsibilities that comes with it. at first, being 21 freak me out. it means that i can't do "careless stuff" (like if i will do something bad). the responsibilities that freaks me out. but maybe i just think too much. maybe, it will be a nice beginning. well i dont know yet. lets figure it out

Happy new year 2013 !!!!!!

Dear everyone, This is my first post since..... well i think forever. i hvnt wrote here for too long. sorry for that ive got busy with my school and stuff.^^ now is new year and i want to share with all of you. i just watched a movie titled 5 cm yesterday. it is an indonesian movie about 5 best friends. they went to the peak of Mahameru Mountain. it is such a great movie and you should check it available at the cinema right now.(FYI: i dont get any commission for this). sorry for those that is not indonesian speaker because they dont have english subs.

This movie get me thinking about my dreams. about chasing them and always focus to them. they say in the movie that you have to put your dream 5 cm from your forehead, so that you might not lose sight out of them. that same thing get them to the top of mahameru. although the place is quiet hard core, but it is a breath taking place. and it makes me want to go there.....

a heaven on earth i will some day go there with my friend.(i hope) anyway back to dreams. it got me to chase my old dream back. it is hard but if i never chase it it will never happened. this is also a reflection for this new year. to keep up my spirit in doing things. to have a vision ahead of me and live a life in a direction to go.to glorify God. i dont know what should i do nor i have a plan for it. but to always walk with Him and trust His lead i think i will be alright. seeing the year of 2012 it is one of my greatest year. i turn 20 in this year which makes me not a "teen"age anymore. it also gave me lots of opportunity to explore another part of this planet and a lot more blessing from God that i couldnt count. the bad thing is that in the year 2012 I've been stressed so much. i fear a lots of things. i worried a lot and i almost gave up my studies. i almost move from my current school to somewhere else that i thought is safe. a place that i didnt need to think of what food i should eat or laundry. a place called home. i think i got homesick at that time. and over frustrated. but now, i have to move my sight forward. not to look back and put my dreams 5 cm from my forehead. to hang it there so that my eyes wouldnt let go of it.it seems so idealistic. but i will do my beast. at the end i would still like to say, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013 hopefully we all have a great year ahead of us.^^ may God bless you all

Sunday

Sunday doesn't mean u don't need any umbrella.

Yeah. Sunday become my battle day of the week lately. It won over monday and do a pretty good job. When I think again about sunday. The day of God where we can come to Him pray, worshiping and learn His word. Why is it so like that? Maybe God planning something on me and it shape me to become stronger than ever. I hope I can win over this battle of mine. As a champion I could not give up or run away. I have to face the challenge and do my best. Dear Daddy God u know I'm not that strong or I just don't know yet. But please make sure that You will always be with me all the time.


With love,
Zia